Tuesday, 29 September 2015

Let it go, let it go...

We all hold onto negative emotions, we all get caught up in situations and issues that can not only make us grumpy miserable moos but also that emotion can cause physical symptoms and distress too...I know...from personal experience.

When I was sixteen I had a very physical reaction to an emotional event, it 'switched on' a disease that I still have to this day (Ulcerative Colitis & Proctitis but you don't need the details...).

Most of the time now I manage my condition with holistic therapies, keeping calm and eating sensibly but...if I get a real emotional event or issue it hits me where it hurts, literally.

I suspect there are a great many people out there who are suffering from physical discomfort due to emotional issues.  Your body takes that emotional energy and directs it to the weakest spot in your body.

If I have a UC attack these days I can totally pin point the emotional event that caused it because with years of experience and a spiritual path I can manage the usual stresses and strains of daily life with no problem, it is the big heart achey hurty emotional events that overwhelm me and attack my body.   And even though I know what caused the attack I struggle to regain control because I am dealing with emotions and feelings and those lil buggers are a pain in the butt...

We are all human, we make mistakes and we get stuff wrong...generally I like to think it is just error of judgement that causes upset and hurt to others.  But sometimes it does feel as if people are just 'out to get you' or as I personally struggle with - they don't live up to your expectations or how you think they should behave in a situation.  It isn't right or wrong, you can't control how people deal with things, but you do have the right to detach yourself from it.

Trust is a huge issue for me, it is a personal code - you put your trust in others, they put their trust in you and you don't let them down.  But stuff happens.   I seriously struggle when my trust in someone has been broken, it is not an easy thing to regain and I am actually not sure that it ever can be totally, there will always be that little niggling doubt and those doubts and worries if left unchecked can get out of control.

So what to do?

This is much easier said than done, believe me...but you gotta let it go.  Re-living situations, re-hashing events, holding onto anger and hate for any person or people is only going to cause you more emotional and by default physical damage and ultimately you will be the one to suffer.

  • Talk: If you have someone neutral that is willing to listen...talk, I encourage you to talk, get it out of your system.  Not to someone that is going to add fuel to your fire and egg you on (step away from the Jeremy Kyle episode) but somone that will just listen and allow you to pour your emotions out and not judge you or any others.
  • Work a little magic.  Candle magic is very good for this:  You will need two candles, I like to use a black one and a white one but go with your intuition or what you have available.   Sit quietly and light the black one, this is to release all the negative emotions, anger, hate, bad feelings etc.  Watch the flame and allow it to take those emotions away.  If you prefer you can write all the issues on a piece of paper and set light to it from the candle flame and allow it to burn safely in a cauldron. Once you are done with the black candle light the white one.  If you have removed negative emotions, feelings and energy you have created a void, you need to fill this with positive thoughts otherwise it will just refill with the icky stuff. Sit and watch the flame from the white candle, think of all the positive things you have in your life, think of all the support you have from friends and family, visualise being free from negative emotions and being healthy and happy. When you are done bury the candle stubs in the earth.
  • Cut the ties.   We all build emotional threads, cords or ties (whatever you want to call them) with the people that we meet or even those that we are connected to via others, some of these connections are healthy others not so much.  Sit quietly and visualise your own body standing in front of you, see the cords that wiggle and float out from your body.  If any of those cords seem unhealthy or icky visualise cutting them allowing the cord to dissolve.   If you want to break away from a particular person see the cord between your body and theirs and allow it to break and dissipate.  Bear in mind that some of the cords that seem negative to you may be connected to those close to you, think carefully before you cut them.
  • Binding.   On the odd occasion, in extreme circumstances I have worked bindings.  I don't recommend using them on a daily basis (you would end up Billy No Mates) but if someone is causing your or your family extreme hurt and upset then it is an option.   You will need a representation of the person concerned whether you create a poppet or have a photograph, whatever works for you.  Then you literally need to bind it.  You could use string, cord, ribbon or I like to use sticky tape.  Bind that around the representation of  the person.   You are not intending to cause them any physical harm.  What you are doing is protecting yourself (or your family) from any more hurt and pain.  It is a way of stopping them from connecting with you.
  • The freezer trick.  This one is so easy and works remarkably well.   If you are being attacked by a particular person you can put a stop to it.  Write their name on a piece of paper and pop it in your freezer.  Simples.  That's all you need to do, in effect it freezes them from contacting or interacting with you.
Most importantly remember that you are important.  It is very easy to get caught up in the drama of others and it is very easy to give support and help to others at the detriment to your own health.  

It is OK to put yourself first...sometimes you have to let go in order to move forward.

Wednesday, 16 September 2015

Confessions of an emotional, patriotic Witch...

Yesterday was one of the most unexpectedly emotional days.

We headed to Goodwood to watch the 75th anniversary Battle of Britain fly past.   I have to admit I initially only went to keep my husband company as he is fascinated by the history of World War II (and the promise of a nice lunch). But we do both have strong connections to the war, his step father was a navigator on the Lancaster Bombers, my grandfather was in the army and on the D Day landings, my grandmother not only worked in the factories during the war but was also part of the NAAFI and her brother was in the RAF ground crew.

What I had not anticipated was the huge amount of emotions that hit me...

When the first spitfire took off I got goosebumps and as it rose into the sky I was hit with an enormous wave of emotion as tears rolled down my cheeks...and the same with the second plane...and the third...until I was sobbing.  There were around forty planes, mostly spitfires but some hurricanes, a Bristol Blenheim and even an American Mustang (I know I sound totally knowledgeable...I actually had no clue, it was hubby that identified them all) but with each take off...I got smacked in the heart with emotion.

The reason for this blog and I make no apologies for the length of it...is this...a couple of years ago I made the decision not to get involved in any debates on facebook in particular, choosing instead to take the easy route and not join in the arguments because it doesn't matter what your status is about if it is in anyway slightly controversial someone will have a differing opinion...which is totally fine...we are all individuals with unique thoughts and ideas, but what happens is that the fb thread then turns into an argument with people shouting their opinions and spouting misread and misunderstood information and claiming that their way is the only way or the right way.  To be honest I decided that I couldn't be bothered and I stopped posting anything that I supported that might be considered vaguely open to negative comment.

The same with politics - I don't do politics, never have and in all honesty I think all politicians are as bad as each other.  It doesn't matter what side they are on they all have good and bad policies and don't keep all the promises that they make.  Having said that I would not want to be a politician for all the money in the world because it doesn't matter what issue they are dealing with they won't ever please everyone.

But yesterday was a bit of a wake up call for me, part of the reason I was so upset was because of the history of it and the importance of the event itself - to remember those that founght and died for us but also because of the state our country is in now and then on a personal note disappointed in myself that I had chosen to "not be bothered" enough to state my views, thoughts or strong opinions for fear of having to deal with those that just want to argue, I had not stood up and been counted.

I am British, I am proud to be British but the state that the country is in at the moment makes me very sad.   And I cannot blame the government or the individual politicians because as I see it the problem is with us, the people.

Our parents and grandparents (depending on your age) fought for us, they stood up, united, together, arm in arm and fought for what they believed in, they fought and died for this country, our country. People rallied round, they supported each other, they made the most of what they had, they made do...and they stood proud.  Look what we have done with it...

Yesterday on the Goodwood Aviation page they put up a post with the routes that each group of planes would take...nearly every single comment below that post was along the lines of "why aren't you flying over Southampton, that is disgusting to leave us out, etc etc" - it made me extremely cross. Firstly Southampton is a built up area and I would imagine a restricted fly zone - anyone with an ounce of common sense would see that.  But what on earth gives you the right to complain?  These people have spent an awful lot of time and effort putting the event together and all you can do is moan and whinge like spoilt ungrateful children...shocking.  This is just a small example of what I mean about the state that we as a people have gotten ourselves into.

We have become a nation of whingers and moaners, we complain about everything that doesn't go our way and we take no responsbility for our own actions, choosing to blame others for our own faults. There is a trend on You Tube/Facebook at the moment of videos showing people pretending to be homeless or disabled or falling over and proving that a shocking amount of people just walk past without caring about their fellow man...is this what our relations fought for?

Unfortunately it also seems to be 'taboo' to even mention you are proud to be British these days just in case you offend someone...we can't even fly the Union Jack without being told to remove it in case a small handful of people visiting our country get upset...Son of a Biscuit are you serious??

For those of you that tend to not actually read blog posts or news articles properly I urge you to understand...I am not in anyway racist, I never have been.  This post isn't about that.  I don't care what colour your skin is, what religion you are or where you were born, what I care about is how you treat your fellow man and how you respect the country that you live in - that goes for all of us, everyone - RESPECT THE COUNTRY YOU LIVE IN.

Obviously I don't advocate war either, I think it is a terrible thing but I am incredibly proud of those that went before us to fight for our country and I am very concerned that their brave and heroic acts and the very reason that they fought - FOR OUR COUNTRY - is being forgotten.

We as a people are responsible, we can change this and turn it around.

And whilst I am in the confessional box...I support the monarchy too - not in a "I have pictures of the Queen on the living room wall and drink my tea from a Prince Charles mug" kind of way (although I think we have some 1977 silver jubilee coins and mugs in the loft...) but in the kind of way that I am British and proud that we have a monarchy.  I think ole Queen Lizzy does a fab job and would actually love to have a chat with Prince Phillip (I think he is hilariously eccentric and non PC) and  I do believe that William and Kate will bring in a new era of monarchy which will be good as well.

Oh and our police force also have my total support...my father was in the police force for thirty years and I think they do an incredible job under very difficult circumstances, especially now when their hands are so tied with all the 'do gooder' nonsense...

I am not in any way a radical or extremist of any kind but yesterday reminded me that it is OK to be proud of who you are and to remember your heritage and stand up for what you believe in...if those that choose to dislike me because I am proud of that and because I would like to see the people of Britain united then that is their choice,  If you must judge me then do so on how I treat you as an individual - which I hope is fairly and with kindness, support and compassion...not because of which political party I voted for or because I happen to like the Queen...

We can choose to argue and bicker with each other over stupid trivial nonsense or we can stand united as a people and pull Britain together...as one people...drawing on the strength of those that fought for this country before us.

PS. I also confess to absolutely loathing and destesting reality TV shows...I believe they rot the brain although back in the 1970s' my father told me the same thing about watching Little House on the Prairie...perhaps it is a generation thing...

Monday, 14 September 2015

Hi Ho Hi Ho it's off to Glasonbury we go...


On Saturday 3rd October 2015 myself and some of the Kitchen Witch posse will be heading to Glastonbury for the day.

Karen from the fabulous Padma shop (Market Place) has invited me to give a talk (i.e. waffle inanely) and a book signing...there will of course be cake...

If anyone is free and would like to pop in and say 'hi' the talk will start at 11am and the book signing will be between 12 and 2pm.

Some of our gorgeous Hearth Guardians will also be there if anyone wants to say hello to them too.

Wednesday, 9 September 2015

My homeless thoughts...

This has been rattling around in my head for a while now and I haven't posted it before because as usually happens, with facebook especially anything that is a little 'out there' turns into a bun fight...so I respectfully ask...please let's not get political about this and be open to other viewpoints...

My heart goes out to those refugees fleeing war torn areas, it really does and as fellow human beings I believe we should do whatever we can to help (there are links at the bottom of this blog post to charities if you would like to donate).

However what I have a problem with is the media reports - how do we know exactly what to believe? I have seen so many conflicting stories about it all and a lot of them are extremely worrying.

There have been stories ranging from the awful genuine plights, to reports of people just using it as an excuse to get into the UK for the benefits and even suggestions that some of those claiming to be refugees are actually coming over to cause political mayhem and acts of terrorism along with photos of groups of young male adults causing chaos in places that have taken them in.

There have also been some interesting articles that bear thinking about; there was a photo of a bombed out Syrian town shown next to London after bombing in WWII with the caption "we didn't flee we stood and fought for our country" - an interesting comparison, perhaps something that we as British can relate to, we have always stood side by side and supported each other when a crisis has hit us.

Another story asked the question "why are these people not fleeing to the first and closest safe country?  Why are they adding to their dangerous plight by fleeing through safe countries to get to another one?"  Good questions that I don't have an answer to.

Anyway...the point of my blog post today, the article that got me thinking was the one where good ole Boomtown Rats Bob was reported as offering up his home to four refugee families...very noble but...and here's the thing.  This whole horrible, terrifying event has for me anyway highlighted the problem we have on our own doorstep.  If he can offer his home to four families why has he not done so before to UK families that are homeless?

When I looked into the figures for those in the UK that are homeless it is absolutely staggering - the Centrepoint charity website states that 80,000 young people each year in the UK experience homelessness... and that is just the young people, those figures don't include adults, families and war veterans. Obviously they are not fleeing war torn countries but they are homeless for a reason, they might have escaped from abusive relationships or be war veterans or people with disabilities that cannot work and they have fallen through a gap in the system.  Whilst I know a few of them may be addicts of one sort or another they are still human beings that deserve our help.

We have a huge homeless problem in the UK already...how can we expect to give benefits and housing to refugees if we have people here already in this situation?

I don't want to get overly political (because I hate politics and think they are all as bad as each other) but...when the Conservatives were voted to power earlier this year there was a facebook uproar with people genuinely scared about their futures, worried that they would lose their disability benefits and their homes...the government stating that the money wasn't there to fund it all.  This same government is now being shouted at for not providing money and housing to the refugees...much as I hate to side with any government what are they supposed to do?  Who should they give the money and the housing to?  And no I don't believe there is an easy or straightforward answer.

In an ideal world none of this would happen and everyone would be helped and supported but it doesn't happen, we can only do the best that we can.

I am not playing down the plight of the refugees just highlighting a problem that already exists that is far bigger than the number of refugees that the UK is faced with...BOTH groups need and deserve help.

Below is a list of UK homeless charities should you be able to help in any way along with some links for refugee help as well...

Let's all pull together, unite as a people and see what we can do to help everyone.




Tuesday, 8 September 2015

So far...♥

On the 22nd February 2013 my first book was published by Moon Books...today two and a half years later I have seven books published and three in the process...it has been quite an unbelievable journey so far.

In August I sold the highest number of books so far (across all my titles)...and to top that A Kitchen Witch's World of Magical Herbs & Plants was the Moon Books best seller for the month.

To say I am feeling a little overwhelmed, humbled and down right grateful for the support I have received from everyone is an understatement.

I never planned to become an author, I never felt that 'I had a book inside me' it all happened totally by accident but I am so very glad that it did.  Big thanks to my publisher Trevor Greenfield for his faith in that first book that set me on this journey and I have to also give my thanks to Nimue Brown for her excellent marketing skills.

Enormous thanks has to go to my husband Pete not only for his support and encouragement whilst I write the books but also for his artwork input, having designed several of the book covers for me and all the posters, adverts and You Tube clips he creates ♥

The book I am currently working on is The Art of Ritual which I am really excited about as it also has input from our very talented Kitchen Witch Hearth Guardians, so honoured to be sharing their work within the pages.

Then there is the Arc of the Goddess book which Tracey Roberts and I have just signed the contract for, this is going to be majorly exciting...from an idea Tracey had a couple of years ago it has grown and taken on a life of its own, fabulous to be working with Tracey on a book.

But the biggest thanks of all has to go to all you guys...yep you...the people that purchase my books, that write amazing reviews on Amazon, who continue to support me in whatever I do and wherever I go - you are the dog's whatsits and I thank you from the heart of my bottom ♥