For a lot of my life probably and most definitely the last couple or three years I have done everything I possibly could to help others, to support them, be there for them and lend a hand and to do what they wanted me to...a lot of the time ending up letting my own things slide and fall behind...I put others first, I spent time away from my family and my own priorities in the name of helping others with what they needed/wanted and because I am a bit rubbish at saying "no" (Tracey I can hear you sniggering from here). Basically I spread myself too thin.
Sometimes we have to just stop and look at the priorities...
This year particularly I have been wearing my sparkly big girl panties and saying no a lot more than I have ever done before and do you know what? The guilt I used to feel? Isn't there anymore. (I have to thank my hubby here and Tracey for supporting me and encouraging me in discovering this new found super power...).
Does that make me a bad person? Most definitely NOT!
There is no harm in doing what YOU want and sorting out YOUR priorities first, there really isn't - in fact it's good for you!
This year I have put my focus back on what I need to do, my family, my close friends and my own spiritual path and of course Kitchen Witch and all our lovely students and coven members - these are the things that are important to ME. And I am going to continue to do so...the choices I make now will have some important questions attached to them before I make any decisions:
Do I have time for it?
Will it impact heavily on family time?
Will it take me away from my own work priorities? (by that I mean Kitchen Witch)
Will it leave me no time for my own spiritual studies & practices?
Do I really want to do it or am I just saying yes because I am too nice?
I get invites pretty much every day to events, moots, rituals and the like and please don't stop sending the invites - it's nice to feel wanted! But...the chances of me making most/any of them are slim, not because I don't want to attend but because I have to prioritise. Most moots are evenings and they aren't easy for me, with a husband in a gigging band and children spare week day evenings are precious hubby time. Rituals and events are usually at the weekend, if I am not doing something as Kitchen Witch then chances are we are doing something as a family. But I will try...
My thoughts on this have been inspired in part because we are working on the 2015 diary already (yep I know it's only August). With hubby in a gigging band - by the end of next week he will be fully booked with gigs for the whole of 2015 so we have had to go through the diary and book out holidays, birthdays and dates to keep free. As Kitchen Witch we need to book the QE park for rituals in advance to get the dates we want and we have already had invites to some fab events in 2015.
We have had to look at our plans for 2015 as Kitchen Witch and work out what we want to do and where we want to take it. We had a huge response to the recent survey from some very lovely people and we have listened to all the requests, most of which we can accomodate but we will also be making some changes too as we need to have time to study and learn new things too!
This life lesson for me has been all about letting go of the guilt. You cannot please everyone all of the time - it just isn't possible and even if you were all singing, all dancing, all smiles and handing out free gold bars with bells on...there would still be someone that wasn't happy - that's just life and human nature.
Do it for YOU.
Big, big 'self-guilt' pedlar here, something I have to continually work on as it's so easy to slip back into the yes pattern. Amazing feeling though when you can and do say no to something you really never wanted in the first place :)
ReplyDeleteI've found myself having to prioritize more, too. Hubby works 10 hour days, 5 days a week right now (and some Saturdays), so or time is limited. Go you for being able to say no!
ReplyDeleteI had just posted on one of my pages about keeping a journal for 100 days about me! and I was feeling very selfish for thinking of doing it. This was exactly what I needed to read to remind myself that I haven't been taking care of me for the last several years!! Thank you!
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