Will the real persona step forward...

I have been thinking lately about the different faces and personas that we wear in our lives.

When I was younger I had several alter egos and I hid behind each one of them or maybe I just hadn't found the right fit for me yet...

Up until six years ago I worked in an office and each day I wore a suit, a very respectable (tattoos hidden) organised Personal Assistant to the CEO.  I still have the same job and the same boss but we now work from home so no need for smart suits.

My husband is in a local rock band and for years I went to all the gigs so I had my rock chic persona with the matching jeans/black t shirts/leather biker jacket wardrobe.

I had a lot of non pagan friends that were very fashionable so I also had my non witchy high street fashion persona and accomanying wardrobe.

And somewhere in there...was me...with my attempt (on a smaller scale and much, much smaller budget) at a Stevie Nicks wardrobe.

Over the years I have shed some of the masks and most of the personas and I have to be honest pretty much all of the wardrobes, I no longer need to wear a suit, I sadly no longer attend many gigs due to a busy life and children (but I have kept hold of my leather biker jacket...some things are meant to stay if purely for the good memories) and I don't really care who I am out with...I wear what I want, not what I think will make me fit in.   I guess years of shadow work, progressing further down my spiritual pathway and the wisdom that comes with age have led me to become the real ME.

But then the me that is now is also a whole heap different to the me that has been in the past (if that makes any sense at all).

I still have personas but they are much smaller and more in line with the real me - I have to be 'bigger' and more confident when speaking in front of a room full of people, leading a ritual or running a workshop.

I guess the outside world will always have a slightly different perspective on how a person is - the world in general probably believes me to a totally confident, organised, go get 'em kinda gal.  And to a certain extent I am - if I set my mind to something I will work very hard to achieve it, but confidence is a tricksy thing...yes I guess I am confident when talking or working in the witchy world because I am passionate about what I do and the subject matter, but it doesn't make me totally confident about everything in my life.

In reality I worry, I worry about all sorts of things - have I made the right choices, will people like what I do, did I say the right things, have I supported people enough, did everyone enjoy the ritual/workshop/talk - all these things worry me...but I don't think that will ever change.

I cry...I cry at adverts, at Star Trek, at pretty much anything that is remotely sad...or happy...I get upset when I read horrible things on social media sites, I get frustrated at the horrible things that are happening and that we do to each other as humans.   I especially hate bitchyness, gossip and rumour because those things are NEVER good, rarely based on the truth and quite indefendable against.

Those lovely people that read my  books probably have a perception of me as an author (OK that still sounds funny calling myself that!), my fabulous students probably have a slightly different perception of me in my teacher/mentor persona, all the amazing people that support us at our workshops and rituals may have a totally different idea of who I am as a person - bossy, loud and laughs a lot...my family will have possibly have a very different view of me again.  Very few people will know, see and understand the real me...but I guess that is going to be the same for everyone.

My personal journey has taken me on many twists and turns but I have learnt along the way (sometimes it takes me several attempts to learn the same lesson) and my personality has changed and grown along the way with it.

The upshot of this very rambling and non sensical blog post today is my realisation that I am very comfortable being me and the more comfortable you are within yourself I believe the more it will show to the outside world...so I guess what you see with me is very much what you get...the real me...almost...but also to never assume that what you see on social media sites, what you hear in the gossip groups and what you see at events may not always be how the person is feeling inside or what they are really like...

Warning...this blog post may offend...

Warning...this blog post may offend...actually if it does then good!

In the midst of the battle that womankind (and man) are fighting against media and body shape/size it makes me really cross and extremely sad to see the 'Walmart shopper' type pictures that are trending around facebook.

There was one in particular yesterday - and I did debate about putting the image on this blog but then I thought "hey, this woman was minding her own business and some complete stranger took a photo of her without her knowledge and then plastered it all over social media" so I didn't want to add to the invasion of her privacy.   It was a photo of a very curvaceous lady wearing a skimpy lycra outfit, it did cover all the appropriate body parts but the skirt was short and the top was low cut...the strapline on the photo said something along the lines of "describe in one word"...the comments that followed can only be described as VILE, one of them suggested that "it should be killed"...

Why do we as a people feel the need to belittle others?  To ridicule that which looks different to what we perceive as normal?  Personally I think normal is way over rated and I would much rather be unique.

This woman (and all the other photos like it) was a lady totally in control of her confidence and rocking her curves, I say "good on ya girl"!   Was it an outfit I would wear? No, (although my husband would probably have liked me to!) but what does that have to do with it?  Who am I or anyone else to judge her and what she wants to wear?  What gives us the right to trash talk about her?

We are all fighting the sterotype that the fashion industry would insist we look like - the rib cage skinny with knife edge shoulder blades - we continuously fight for the fuller figure to be accepted in the 'industry' and 'mainstream' so why do we then trash images of goddess shape women?

And whilst we are on the subject, yes I do join the campaign for the industry to accept women to be a realistic size.  When I was a teenager I could rock a size 8 ra ra skirt but that was a gazillion years and a couple of children ago - no way would I ever maintain a size 8 figure now, nor would I want to. I have my bad "I think I am fat" days (I wear a UK size 16) but in actual fact yes I am larger now than I was in my teens and twenties but I am also the most confident and content...The flip side of this as well, when we post the images on facebook of Marilyn Monroe types and what the fashion industry would have us call 'larger models' do we then belittle those of the population that are either naturally slim or work very hard to be so?

Why can we not just accept that whatever body size or shape we are is right for us? Why can we not just accept that if we want to go out dressed in whatever outfit we dang well choose to that it is up to us and no one else's business?

All those people that are commenting on these photos with vile, sarcastic and spiteful comments...are you perfect?  What the heck gives you the right to judge those people?

I say...be yourself, be confident, be comfortable, wear what makes YOU feel good and wear whatever you damn well want to and anyone that says otherwise can go take a running jump...

If you are one of those that judges and that puts the spiteful comments on those social media posts...WHY, why would you do that to another human being?

Right...I'm off to put on my Princess Leia gold bikini to go do the shopping...

Who do I choose?

There has been a lot of talk recently (on facebook of course!) about which holistic and spiritual practitioners to use and what medium/tarot readers to go to.

I would whole heartedly 100% advocate seeking out holistic therapies.   When I was 16 I became very ill and was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis and Proctitis...not pleasant at any age but horrendous as a teenager.  I struggled with it for years under various doctors and specialists and on any number of medications all of which were steroid based and came with their own horrible side effects including depression and mood swings for which I was given even more medication.

Then about 15 years ago I happened upon a reflexologist advertising help for digestive problems ... so I went...and practically floated home from the first session.  Several intense sessions later I was weaned from half the medications and a few months later I was not only completely medication free my UC was much, much better.   I continued to have regular reflexology sessions but also tested out EFT (emotional freedom technique) and Kinesiology along with being food intolerance tested.  All of these holistic therapies have led me to be UC free for about 6 years now, I still have to be careful with food and I have the odd bad day when it 'niggles' but nothing like the attacks I used to have.  In fact when I had my last hospital check up 3 years ago they declared me fully in remission.

This was mostly with thanks to reflexology and holistic treatments helped along the way by my own spiritual journey with witchcraft.

There are a huge amount of holistic therapists now offering all sorts of lovely treatments, I was inspired to train myself with Reiki and am a Reiki Master Teacher and also a certified Crystal Healer (although I don't practice as a professional).  

How do you find the right therapist though?

My advice would be to trust your intuition, go to the Mind Body Spirit fairs and try some of the taster sessions or get recommendations from friends.  But go with your gut, if you make a connection with the therapist then excellent but if anything makes you feel even slightly wary...go somewhere else.

As for charging?  There are healers who don't charge at all but most of the therapists are professionals who have taken a lot of time and effort to train (and spent a lot of money in doing so) and are certified, this also means that they will be insured as well.  I am not saying don't get treatments for free - some therapists will also work a barter system, but make sure that the person treating you is qualified and experienced.  These people will be working with your personal energies and whilst the aim is to work some healing magic and sort the energies out for you, they can if not properly trained or inexperienced cause damage - again, go with your instinct about how you feel about the person doing the treatment.  Personally I believe there should be some kind of 'energy exchange', if the healer is doing it for a living then money is a good exchange for the benefit you will receive but don't pay over the odds...just because someone is charging £100 an hour it does not mean they are better than the person charging £40.

I have also had some lovely treatments at healing shares, so keep an eye out for those.

The same applies for mediumship and tarot readings.  They can be extremely helpful if you need guidance or support in a decision.   And there are a lot of readers out there too.  There aren't the same sort of 'qualifications' for readers, there are some certificated courses but I have had fantastic readings from people that have been self taught as well.  Again with this go with your instinct, get a taster reading at a MBS fair if you can or go by recomendation.  Don't be put off if the person is offering free readings because they are learning - I have had some good readings from people who were practising.  Again don't pay over the odds...same rules apply...just because someone offers a reading for £65 (I have seen this price advertised, personally I wouldn't pay that much) it doesn't make them any better than someone charging £20.   I usually do readings for donations, but then I don't work as a professional tarot reader.

There are ethics with readings too - no reader should ever tell you that you will drop dead within the week, neither should they tell you that your wife is having an affair with the milkman.  There are ways of wording things to prompt you as the client to be wary or get health check ups - no one should come away from a reading in floods of tears with a cloud of doom hanging over them.  

I have had a lot of very good readings over the years - mediumship, tarot, oracle card and shamanic journeys, I have also had some average readings and on one occasion a totally awful one and that was with a professional medium/tarot reader who does it for a living, not only was the reading total hooey (apparently I should now be working in a hedgehog hospital??) but the reader also threw in some very strong accusations about my marriage.  Thankfully I was sensible enough to know the whole reading was total garbage, but if I had gone to seek guidance and support I would have come out of there totally devastated and misled.  So choose wisely and go with your instinct.

Bear in mind as well that all readings predicting the future are only possible outcomes and not definite and that the information given is for guidance only and not set in stone.

And again the same applies for spiritual teachers - all of the above counts,  go with your instinct, seek out recommendation from friends or ask to be put in touch with other students who can talk to you about the teachers and the course itself.  Some teachers with do courses for free, most will charge some kind of energy exchange.  I have seen courses that run to thousands of pounds per year, personally I would not pay that much but it's your call...remember that with teaching and courses a lot of work, time and effort will have (hopefully!) gone into the preparation, planning and writing of the course and then the follow up, make sure you will be supported along your journey throughout the course itself.  Again check the qualifications and experience of the teacher and that the course is their own actual work, I have seen one or two courses where the information is just copied and pasted from the internet...you can get that for free yourself!   

Not every person will 'match' with every reader, therapist or teacher.  We are all different and all unique.

There are a lot of people to choose from, most of them are lovely - just be guided by your intuition.

Mists of illusion...

More thoughts on feeling disconnected and generally grumpy with the world pagan or otherwise...

(See previous blog posts - 'disconnected' and 'clean sweep').

I don't think we are ever totally disconnected from the Divine, life, each other, the web of Wyrd etc...I am actually beginning to think that we just can't see that connection sometimes.

I think that the opinions, views, thoughts and actions of other people added to our own create a mist of illusion that causes us to feel disconnected and cut off.  The connections are still there...we just can't see them.

Whatever faith you are, whatever you believe in - divinity does not abandon us but we sometimes just can't see it.

My feelings recently have been my own creation obviously, but they have been 'sparked' by the words and actions of others.

I see a lot of drama and a lot of heated discussions on various forums and social media sites a lot of which make me cross and want to jump in with my own views.  A few years back I would have...I would have just leapt in, knee jerk reaction and made my own point.  Trouble is when everyone does that things always, always get heated, taken out of context, misunderstood and all kinds of nasty breaks loose.  Experience has taught me to step away from the keyboard.  Because let's face it, how many times have you read a thread on Facebook where each person has shared their views on a subject but it is quite plainly obviously that none of them have actually read the other comments?  Healthy discussion and debate is fun, interesting and inspiring...but only when everyone takes on board the comments of each other, when people actually 'listen' to what the others are saying.  That doesn't seem to happen very much, especially on social media.

So I don't get involved...does that make me a big wuss?  No I don't think so, I prefer to think that it makes me strong, it takes a lot of will power (that I don't have much of) to step away and not get involved.

It is that kind of 'dicussion' that makes me cross and then despair about the world in general, I think it is then that the illusion starts to be created.

Being an author and being a part of a team that runs workshops, rituals and an online school we also enter the world of marketing, sales and competition - which doesn't necessarily go hand in hand with pagan views.  I am  not going to get into the 'no money for spirituality' argument, it's boring snoring, but even if you are putting on free events (which we also do by the way) you are entering a world of marketing your event, competing with others and hoping that people will turn up...sometimes that gets a bit stressful!   In this scenario I am learning that you just have to get a thicker skin, do what you do, go with your intuition, put it out there and hope that the Gods have guided you correctly and that you are doing something that will help, guide and support everyone in the right way.

Maybe I just wear rose tinted spectacles and want the world to be full of peace, love and understanding but I am trying to learn to see past the illusions...

Time for a clean sweep...

Over the past couple of weeks I haven't been feeling 'it' (no Carry On Film sniggers please) what I mean by 'it' is everything, what I do, how I feel, where I am going...

No particular reason, just feeling a bit disconnected from it all and not really knowing why or how to move forward.  The full moon and now the waning moon don't help!

I have recently had a fabulous shamanic reading from one of our lovely Kitchen Witch School students, very insightful and I have been mulling over that as it shows several pathways.  Last week's horoscope from the fab Astro Twins and then this week's too shows that I should be taking on new challenges, putting my business hat on and rocking the world...but it's been a bit of a struggle.  A new book contract last week was of course fabulous and our new Goddess Pathways online Celtic Goddess course has had an amazing response and we are really excited about starting that with everyone on 1st September.

But...and here's the thing...sometimes stuff doesn't work, sometimes it does at first but it grows tired (or I do), sometimes it doesn't work from the start (thankfully we haven't had that happen yet) and sometimes you start something and others like the idea and start similar ideas as well, which is cool, coz everyone is different and we all want slightly different things right?  (Does any of that even make sense?).  I guess a weekend of seeing so many 'pagan politics' on facebook doesn't help either, so many  people with such strong views about what should be done and how it should be carried out - to be honest it has started to feel like I am in the middle of some kind of bizarre competition, a kind of 'pagan it's a knockout' (you have to be as old as me to remember that TV programme).

So what to do?  Well sometimes it can be time for a change and the waning moon is actually a good time to look at what worked, what didn't and what you need to get rid of.  So this afternoon will be spent with a cup of chai latte, a very large notebook and a pen...and allow my intuition, mind, inspiration and general ideaness (I know it's not a real word) to open up...

Having a good look at the past few months and seeing what really rocked and what didn't, what made my heart sing and what I feel tired of doing ... because let's face it, if the person teaching/leading/running something doesn't have their heart in it then the whole thing will reflect that. 

Time a good clean sweep of the old and for some new ideas and some new zing...

Tracey is already waiting...possibly quite scared...for a barrage of emails containing mind maps and strange, wild ideas for the future...to which she will obviously add her own strange and wild ideas ...or send me an email back saying "you have got to be kidding me..."

We may need more cake...

I don't religiously follow my horoscope but occasionally I take a glance, usually when the Astro Twins pop up on my facebook feed - I love the way they write.

Anyway...this week said:

Starships are meant to fly—and apparently, Scorpios are too. Pull that power suit to the front of your closet and get ready to ascend. This Wednesday, July 16, expansive Jupiter zips into Leo and your tenth house of success, dumping cosmic Miracle-Gro all over your career. Enjoy the power surge and get those big plans in motion. Between now and August 11, 2015, the neon light is flashing: Goals! Goals! Goals! Take off the Wayfarers and get your game face on. You’ll be spending more time than usual in the public eye; not always the most comfortable place for such a secretive soul.

Whoohoo! Apart from the 'public eye' bit...although those that know me may not believe it...being in the public eye is not easy for me...

The week actually started quite well and I say that because for the last couple of Mondays I have had definite attacks of the Monday morning blues however this week Monday morning went quite smoothly.

Tuesday was a LURVERLY day spent in Brighton with my husband, a belated anniversary date.  The weather was gorgeous, we mooched around the Lanes and the North Lanes (my favourite) and sat outside a restaurant eating lunch watching the world go by (Gourmet Burger Kitchen - highly recommended).  Oh and we walked so much my feet ached so I had to purchase some new sandals...for comfort obviously...

Tuesday also heralded a new book contract which is always exciting.

Book number six follows on from book number five which will be published in October, it is kind of a companion book but will also stand alone.  The Kitchen Witch's World of Magical Herbs & Plants will be followed with the new one which is The Kitchen Witch's World of Magical Food... perfectly 'up my street' as the saying goes.  

There is the initial excitement of receiving a contract...but after the initial whoooop feeling the actual realisation that I now have to write 45,000 words is a little daunting.  My wise husband always says "plan it out, do an hour each day then it won't be overwhelming"...very sensible plan, but in reality I seem to do a whole lot of research then have a mad panic towards the deadline date and end up writing for hours on end...

This time however the book will have food recipes in, it won't be a cook book but it will have some recipes to tempt the reader so each of those will have to be tested...I know...it's a tough job but somebody has to do it.  So I will have to be waaaay more organised with this one.  I am really excited to be writing about food (obviously!) not just because I love food; the whole process from growing it, harvesting, planning menus, cooking, creating and eating but because there is such magic in food as well.  We are all familiar with herbs and plants having magical properties but I think magical food gets forgotten sometimes.

So I embark on a new journey with this book - it also has a new facebook page of its own which was another moment of humbleness (is that a word?) for me.  I started the page yesterday morning about 11am...this morning it has just over 400 likes...WOW completely floored...

It might seem from the outside that I am confident and successful and that life just lands in my lap, but believe me - it all takes work, a whole lot of hard work and I worry, I have those huge 'wobble' moments on a regular basis.  Will people like my books? What if they don't enjoy the workshops?  Should we still keep doing rituals, do people still want to come?  And any amount of other Why and What if questions usually on a daily basis...but I have to trust that I will be guided, that my intuition will be good, that what happens is all for a reason...it's not easy to surrender to trusting that you are on the right pathway...but I try.

And it's only Wednesday...what else does the week have in store?

With my new regular column in the Pagan Dawn magazine on magical food and a new regular recipe column in the Mystik Way that Tracey and I are writing as Kitchen Witch we may need more cake...

Disconnected

At some point during our spiritual journeys it seems to happen, maybe even more than once - the disconnection.

It seems to creep up gradually...all of a sudden you wake up one day and realise that you haven't 'connected' with your spiritual side in a long while.  It is easily done - in today's busy and hectic lifestyles with everything that life likes to throw at us especially if you are a working mum/dad/wife/husband juggling all the everyday stuff.

It is a question I get asked a lot "I have lost my spiritual connection, my spark - how do I get it back?" - sometimes it isn't easy and I have those disconnection times too.

I actually don't think social media helps, you log onto facebook in the morning and see that everyone has been out to moots and meetings, rituals and events - all having a wonderful time connecting with all things spiritual and interacting with fellow pagans.  For some people that isn't always possible to do, you may not drive, you may not have baby sitters, you may work evenings/weekends and it can be quite disheartening.

Disconnection can make you feel empty and lost.  You begin to question your journey and whether this is the right path for you, you wonder if/why the goddess has abandoned you - she hasn't...she is still there, waiting for you to find your thread again.

How do you re-connect?  There is no sure fire 'one size fits all' answer...sorry.   However there are suggestions.   Simple ones are to step outside, even if it is just on your half hour lunch break from work, take your sandwiches outside and sit in your garden, the local park even a bench in the town centre - somewhere that you can connect with the elements.  And just sit, quietly...open yourself up to nature, it might just be a sad spindly tree in the middle of the shopping centre but connect with it.

Meditation is also good, I know we probably all don't have the time to slip into our yoga pants, light incense and candles and 'om' for hours...but just five minutes in the morning, on your lunchbreak, in the toilet or the shower can be beneficial - not in the car though coz that would be dangerous...just a few minutes to run through a grounding and centring exercise is better than nothing.

Stand outside at night time and look up at the moon, connect with the goddess and ask for her guidance.  Or stand outside in the sunshine (don't look directly at the sun...ouch) and ask the god for his guidance.

I find that clearing, cleaning and re-dressing my altar helps as well, just the actions of cleaning it all and putting a fresh cloth over and fresh flowers makes me feel better.  Even if you only have a tiny altar, give it a dust and move the items around on it.

Smudge your house and yourself, you don't have to use smudge sticks if you don't have them you can use incense sticks or even salt & water - give your home a good spiritual cleanse.

Pick up a spiritual book, it might be one you haven't read for ages or one that you purchased and popped on the shelf to 'read later' and never got around to.  Open the book randomly, see what page it falls to.

If you are able to join in with local moots, events or rituals then go for it - most groups are extremely welcoming of newcomers, check out your area and see what's going on.

If you can't get out there are a huge number of facebook groups and pages and the internet has lots of forums for like minded people.

Pick up your tarot or oracle cards and do a reading for yourself, if you have crystals get them out and give them a cleanse and work with them.

If you have like minded friends talk to them, they will understand and they will be able to help.  Likewise if you are part of a coven then talk to your High Priestess, she is there to help with any problems you have.

It might take a while to get back into the swing of things, work with it gradually, build it up slowly...if it is the right path for you to follow it will all fall back into place when you are ready.

Precious memories ♥

Yesterday evening was spent looking through old photo albums...yes we have albums with actual photos in (rather than a memory stick of digital ones).  We went back over twenty years of memories...although sadly the albums stop short about 7 years ago...when the digital photos and cameras took over.

Many, many lovely memories of life as a younger couple - and much smaller waistlines LOL - some funny hair styles and fashion faux pas'.  Our wedding album from 16 years ago...our children didn't recognise the blonde woman in the white dress in the photos...(me).

Lots of "oh I had forgotten the dining room was that colour" or "wow I had forgotten we went there" moments.

And of course the photos from both our children being born "awwwww".

Life is a journey and it was very magical to take a step back in time and wander through all those memories, it also sparked the realisation that photo albums are very special and I think a nicer treasure to keep photographs in rather than on the computer.

It was also quite an emotional journey, remembering life as it was at the beginning when I met my husband 22 years ago before children, before we owned our own house, before the credit cards and mortgage LOL  followed by the memories of our wedding - we hosted the reception at home and I made all the food so it was a bit hectic but fabulous.  Then the births of both our children and how much they changed our lives and the way we live.

Watching a kind of film strip as our lives change, grow, twist and turn and how we as people have changed as well - physically and mentally.

I am most definitely not the person I was 22 years ago, particularly as then I had not really started on my spiritual journey.

Life changes as we grow and lots of outside factors change the story for us, I think the important thing is to learn as we go along and to accept that change happens, hopefully for the best.  It is about learning to move with those changes, going with the flow and working together to make life work.

I feel a tinge of sadness for my 'youth' but I would not want to be 16 again...I love all that I have done with my life so far and all that I have achieved.  I have made some mistakes along the way, small ones and much bigger ones but I don't regret any of the decisions made because each step of my life journey has led me to where I am now and I would not change that for the world.

Sometimes we try and go back to the way things were in our past - to 'reclaim our youth' but in reality I don't believe it ever works.  Just silly things such as looking back at TV programmes - I LOVED the Young Ones when I was a teenage but I saw a re-run a while back and it was awful!   And much as I loved being a teenager in the eighties the fashion was um...interesting to say the least...although I do still harbour a secret love of ra ra skirts, leg warmers and Depeche Mode...

Life is for living and I think we do get dragged down with things occasionally, I know I do - yesterday in particular was a difficult day but in the scale of things it was nothing, just a few challenges (some of which are still not sorted but I'm working on it) I have dealt with much worse.

Look back on your past as precious memories but live for the moment here and now ♥

Decisions...

I posted on facebook last week that one of the perks of being an adult was being able to make the decision to ditch healthy dinner plans and make a huge stack of pancakes instead...and that is one of the good points.

One of the other things that we do as adults (I am careful not to use the term 'grown up' as that is a bit scary) is make decisions.  Oh I know we make decisions as a child - which TV programme to watch, what doll to play with etc but as an adult we have to make big decisions and it isn't always easy.

The problem as I see it is that making a decision nearly always affects someone else and I hate to be the cause of upset or problems for another person because of a decision I have made, essentially I do hate to let people down and I try never to do it.

In the last few weeks I have had to make a couple of decisions that have involved me pulling out of something that I had said I would do.

The life lesson in this for me is not one of putting on my big girl pants and just making the decision it is perhaps more of a realisation that I need to listen to my own intuition a lot more when these offers are made and before I rush into accepting them.

I teach about using and listening to your intuition, it is wise and usually knows exactly what we need to do a whole heap more than our brains do.

So I get an offer or a request to attend something or do something and being me I don't like saying no so I gaily jump in with both feet and say "yes of course, no problem" when in reality I should have listened to that little niggle of intuition that says "actually this isn't a good plan".  Sometimes it is that I don't have the time to take on anything else, sometimes it is just the sheer logistics and finances of getting somewhere - my logical brain seems to take a vacation for a brief moment and in that space my mouth says "yes of course".

Listening to my intuition is something that I am increasingly doing and making decisions to step back from things that I really shouldn't have taken on in the first place without that huge dreadful feeling of guilt that I used to get.   That after feeling of total guilt is now being replaced with one of relief.

Make decisions for YOU - sometimes people will be let down but you can't help everyone all of the time.

Trust your intuition - it won't let you down.




www.rachelpatterson.co.uk
www.kitchenwitchhearth.com
www.kitchenwitchhearth.wix.com/coven
www.goddesspathways.com

Trust me...

My thoughts today are on trust (not for any particular reason just one of those random things that pops into my brain)

Trust...small word...BIG committment.

Every day we put our trust in all sorts of people.

Trust me I am a doctor...
Trust me I am a policeman...
Trust me I am a drummer...(oh no... wait, I am not sure about that one...)

As part of my faith and my beliefs I put my trust in the Goddess in that each day she will guide me where I need to go, my intuition and instinct are part of that as well, learning to trust your intuition is not always easy but it is a powerful skill to have.

I think any relationship needs to be based on trust whether it is a marriage, a friendship or a partnership, for me trust is the key.

In the past I have had a habit of freely trusting everyone but life and experience have shown me that trust has to be earnt and not freely given - which is sad but I have found it to be true.

We put our trust in the police, the medical profession, the bus or taxi driver transporting us, teachers to look after our children even the person that comes to fix your boiler - we are putting our trust in their hands to do the job properly.

Trust between friends can be tricky...when you sit and gossip with a group of people (and let's be honest we have all done it) what happens the next time when you aren't there?  Do you trust those people not to gossip about you?  Gossip can be very damaging and in my experience very rarely the actual truth.

I used to lend things to people, whatever they needed - books, CDs, DVDs etc - but I sadly I have been forced to stop doing it.  Too many experiences of not having things returned (especially books which are extremely precious to me) or having to repeatedly ask for things to be brought back which is embarrassing.

Lending money to friends is a killer...generally (in my opinion) guaranteed to end a friendship - you help a friend in need out - promises of returning it asap are given - you trust...but it doesn't materialise, you have to ask, excuses are given, you ask again - lather, rinse, repeat until there comes a point when it is just all to cringingly embarrassing and it hangs over any meet up like a huge elephant in the room - end of trust, end of friendship.

I have been very happily with my husband for 22 years now and one of the keys to our strong relationship is trust, communication probably coming a close second.  Especially when you are in a relationship as we are where he is a drummer in a rock band and out gigging - you have to trust otherwise the ole green eyed monster kicks in and that is another relationship killer.

I am not saying I get it right all the time - far from it.  I have had a lot of friendships over the years where I have openly trusted and had it go belly up - but if we didn't attempt friendships or relationships at all then we would be extremely lonely!

We can only try to be the best person that we can and for me trust is a big part of that...trust me...I am a witch...

Perceptions

The word for today is Perception...

Not just because we have been watching the excellent series of the same name on TV starring Eric McCormack.

The dictionary says:
Perception: a belief or opinion , often held by many people and based on how things seem.
So many people make decisions based on their perception of others.

As a witch some people have the perception that I am wicked and evil.

Because I work from home some people have the perception that I sit around all day watching daytime TV (Nothing on this planet would ever make me sit and watch Jeremy Kyle...just saying...).

As a witch some people have the perception that we dance around naked in the woods at night. Seriously?  I live in the UK even during the summer the evenings get pretty nippy.

When I worked in an office and wore a suit all the time the perception of me from my image was that of a clean cut sensible woman...the perception was always dented somewhat when they saw my tattoos and found out that I was a witch, used to be a drummer in an all girl rock band, rode a motorbike and was married to a rock drummer.

As Kitchen Witch the perception is that we live on cake...every day...every meal...really we don't...much...

And we could go into a whole heap of perceptions about body image/size/weight...but I'm not even going to go there.

We make perceptions all the time especially with how people look, what they wear, their hair colour, whether they have tattoos...the list goes on.

In my experience very little is 'as it seems', the old adage "never judge a book by it's cover" is often very true.

Let's look beyond the perceptions, many of which have been set in place by the media in one form or another.  A lot of the time we see what we think we should, what we have been told is right.

Throw away the perceptions and get to know people for who and what they really are.  They aren't all going to be wonderful but it is (in my opinion) a much better and more interesting way of finding out.

Escape...sometimes it is necessary...

Sometimes you have to escape and get a different perspective on things.

Yes I know I am very lucky to be able to work from home.  I did twenty three years of working in an office every day...and I loved it at the time but having now worked from home for the past six years I would not want to go back even though I probably do more hours in a week now than I ever did in an office job!

I still get up early, I am a mother and need to do the school run!  But I can plan my day more or less as I want to, I still have my 'real' job to get done but that is only part time and I tend to get that done first thing.  Then I have the day to myself which I plan out as I am busy so it needs to be organised with Kitchen Witch work, book writing and marketing and magazine writing, my own studies along with all that other normal stuff like the housework and cooking meals.  I also like to make sure I try and fit in some spiritual time too.

However when you work from home it is also very easy to become isolated and to suddenly realise that you have spent the last week (or more) sitting in the same spot inside the same four walls with little or  no outside contact and only a brief amount of daylight on the school run (when I say 'run' I actually mean a ten minute walk, running is not on my list of general activities...).

I have spent the last few days saying "tomorrow I will go out" then it gets to the next day and I find some other excuse not to go.  Until this morning with a gentle nudge from my husband (actually an insistence that I get out before I go stark raving mad) I set out on an expoitition.

I had a lovely drive through the countryside, windows open, Radio Two blaring on a journey to Stansted House which is a local stately home that has beautiful surroundings, a garden centre, a farm shop and  most importantly (to me anyway) a very nice cafe.

I sat in a converted orangerie with a coffee and the biggest wedges of granary toast I have ever seen and I wrote, I had taken paper and reference books with me so I just wrote and wrote.  A bit later I had a very yummy raspberry and rose drink followed by an absolutely delicious quiche and salad.  Yes there was cake and it all looked amazing but I am embarrassed to say I was too full...I know it's shocking...but I got a lot of writing done.  An article on spell casting for the Dolmen Chronicles and a lot of work done on the Celtic Goddess Course, perfect to be joined by Brighid and Cerridwen whilst sitting in the sunshine.

And now I am back home and the housework is still waiting but I do feel refreshed and inspired.  I think I shall make it a regular jaunt...

Ah the pleasant warmth of synchronicity...

Even after so many years of following a spiritual pathway it stills makes me smile when sychronicity comes into play.

I have had a few things to 'deal with' recently, not my doing but the actions and words of others - all part of my journey, all lessons for me to learn.

Then today I got out my nice new leather bound journal to start my first homework assignment for the hinduism course I have just started...and what does it deal with?   Not letting things that others say or do upset you...learning to just let it pass you by and not let it wind you up. Being happy with your lot. ...hah!  Synchronicity strikes again...

It is sometimes difficult  not to judge others, we as a society do it all the time, jealous of the achievements or wealth of others - even if they have worked very hard to gain or achieve what they have.  Upset because someone else has done something you wanted to do first or has something that you yearn for.

Only YOU can achieve your goals, only YOU can get to where you want to be but only YOU can do it with hard work, effort and determination.  Seriously...no one else is going to hand it to you on a plate.

I have said it before and I will say it again as it is very relevant to a recent experience of mine:

Judge a person on what they say to YOU
Judge a person on how they treat YOU
Don't judge them on the hearsay of another or whether they are friends with someone you don't like or part of a group you don't approve of.

Jealousy and hate can eat away at you, it is a form of poison - let it go.  Congratulate that person for their achievements, be happy for them and their hard work - don't allow the green eye monster to eat you up.  Take it as encouragement to work hard for what you want and what you can achieve.

We are all here on this planet together, we might as well all get on with each other - it would make life so much easier...